Out of Control

Once again, I'm procrastinating. It wouldn't be so bad if I actually knew what to study and how much studying I had to do. The only thing I can think of to do is re-read the texts to make sure I know them. But I have no chance whatsoever of being able to finish one of the texts today, never mind 4 of them. I am such a horribly slow reader. I went over one of the books last night by reading the first and last page of every chapter. That alone still took me 3 hours. (Yes, I know, sad).
I have to say though, I've never given up this much this easily. But then again, I've never had the other issues to deal with at the same time either.

Speaking of which, it finally got through to Daddy that this job hunting might take a while and that, unfortunately, it's not worth waiting to see if we hear from someone in Q before we look around some more. The whole job hunt/interviewing/hiring process takes too long now to be able to wait before he applies elsewhere. So he's currently out pounding the pavement here in Prince.

I'm so torn between whether I think that's a good thing or not. My initial reaction is to get upset because I wanted to go back home, but then I think of all the things we have here and the people we've met and the thought of putting the house on the market and leaving makes me upset as well. But I suppose that's the way it goes, there's going to be a good and bad to every senario. But what I'm trying to figure out is what is more important and which place would be the best. I really want to go back home to be with family, and family is so important. But at the same time we're still really close here, we have way more options for everything here, and the economy might be a bit more stable here than in Q. We keep saying it would be easier to struggle there with family around us, but would it really?

But now, I suppose, we've left it out of our hands. The most important thing being to get a job. So wherever that opportunity comes from is where we will go. I hate that... I want to be able to control my life just a little bit thankyouverymuch.